Right

Life. The one thing I really dont get. My friend says not to think about it that way since it would only make things seem more and more pointless. Too bad my life was pointless to begin with. Im a pretty healthy ,middle class, minority, single parent citizen. I have a "girlfriend" whom I care about very much but due to certin circumstances I cant see nearly as often as I would like to. Its a little odd in the fact that she makes me happy but it seem I cant return the favor. But I'll keep trying. Life in america is a strange one indeed.espically for someone with what could be considered a "outdated" look on life. Mostly beacause I belive in things like love and honor two things that mean less and less with every day. I can thank my father for that. The one person in my life to ever understand me is the first one to leave. I really miss him and think about him every day. He taught me selflessness which is by far the most outdated concept of all. Still I will never live for myself but with the thought that maybe before i die i can make another person happy. I hate feeling so sad inside but it cant be helped. The only thing that seems to make me feel alive anymore is training. The pain from muscles fatigue and me pushing myself harder and harder. It seems to be only temporary though. I noticed today i only have 3 REAL friends (including my girlfriend) but they are the best anyone could ever have I think. I dont know why im even writing these entrys or who will even read them but I think ill continue for the sake of being able to go over past events..Damn..So far I seem boring s hell. I do have hobbies and am considered a very funny guy so dont get me wrong. All i feel is locked away so it doesent effect people around me. I Like to play guitar, travel, and do martial arts. I like most types of music (espically metal) and im a super open person. Theres alot of other crap but i dont feel like selling my self soo yeah. how do i end these things?hmm....how about..Dammit!